Hope
by Lumino
Summary: Traumatized by the price of their victory, Nia finds a glimmer of hope in the midst of the pain. She will never forgive herself for it.


A/N: This takes place after the ending, so obviously spoilers will be present

 **Hope** : _A Xenoblade Chronicles 2 fanfiction.  
_

* * *

"Poppi is very sorry, but masterpon is very worried for dadapon," the artificial blade spoke as Tora ran around the makeshift camp gathering up his effects.

"I know," Rex said, rubbing the back of his head. "I wish we could give you a ride but Gramps isn't exactly in the best shape right now." He looked back at his caretaker, who had landed in the water on the coast of this new landmass. "I guess growing up so fast did a number on him."

He looked back to Poppi, and then to the horizon. "Still, though, it's only a few hours until sundown, and there is no telling how far away Torigoth actually is."

"Never fear, Master Rex! Poppi is equipped with state of the art Night Terror Repellant by masterpon!" She announced, her eyes emitting soft beams of light. "Masterpon thinks of everything! Poppi and masterpon will be fine."

Rex grinned sheepishly, nodding to her. "I know, I know...it's just. Mòrag and Brighid went back to Mor Ardain to check on the Emperor and Pandoria and Zeke went to check on his father in Tantal. Without you and Tora, it's going to be pretty lonely."

"Don't be getting too comfortable, Rex. I couldn't leave ya on your own, who knows what you'd be liable ta do," came the familiar voice from behind as Nia stepped up. "Besides, it's just for a day or so until they are sure their homelands are safe. You could always go to Leftheria while ya wait."

Rex just shook his head. "I couldn't just leave gramps here alone!"

Azurda looked back at them, a bit more lethargic than usual. "Ah, I imagine I'll be fine for swimming around the ocean by the morning. Children are always in such a rush..."

Rex rolled his eyes with a smile. "Well, at least you're not hiding in my helmet anymore!"

"...Indeed. The waves of the ocean are much more comfortable," he said with a large yawn.

Finally, Tora ran over, ears flapping excitedly. "Poppi! It time to go! Rex-Rex, Tora will be back soon! Have to make sure Dadapon and Lila are safe!"

Rex just smiled. "Hey, no worries! We'll be here for a bit still. You just come back when you're sure he's all right, yeah? We're worried too!"

Tora's eyes swelled up, something Rex had never quite gotten used to. "Rex-Rex is so kind! Tora will do! Please take care, friends!"

Rex and Nia waved good-bye to Tora and Poppi, remaining there until the two of them had vanished from sight. Nia smiled, before looking down to where Rex grasped the familiar Core Crystal in his hand, dull and lifeless. "Oy, come on. Let's round up some grub before it gets too dark to see. Dromach!"

"My lady."

"You spot anything 'round here good for a quick meal?"

"My lady?"

Nia turned around towards the voice, wondering what prompted his confusion. "Don't be daft, Dromach. If ya don't know, we'll just have to go look."

Except Dromach wasn't there. There was nothing there, just the endless ocean spreading out before her as the sun slowly set below the horizon.

* * *

Nia's eyes snapped open, though she saw nothing. She blinked twice, taking stock of her surroundings. After a moment, she recalled where she was. That dream she'd had, it had been earlier today, mere hours ago. Night had fallen and they'd turned in for rest, but the dream missed one important detail.

Rex hadn't been holding the Aegis Core Crystal, because before they even landed Pyra and Mythra had returned to them. She remembered the joy in the eyes of all of her friends, and in her own heart. Pyra and Mythra both had been the greatest of friends to her, and that was why... that was why...

"My lady, are you all right? You were calling to me."

Nia shook her head, stretching out. "Just talkin' in my sleep, Dromach. I'm gonna go for a walk."

"I shall accompany you, milady."

"Nah, I'll just be a little bit away," she said, getting up to start walking towards the coast. Dromach watched her for a few moments before settling back down, one eye open.

Nia walked right up to the water, letting it wash right up to her feet. She sighed, looking over the endless water before her. Was there something else out there? Maybe another land... different people. She turned her gaze back inland, spying where Rex, Pyra and Mythra all lay. Nia had taken her rest a bit away from them, but they were all a stone's throw away. Rex had been so elated at their return that he'd been impossible to get away from them all day.

At some level, Nia was jealous of that devotion, but then she remembered why she'd pushed Rex to them when they returned, and wiped her sleeve over her eye. He deserved them... he deserved someone better than her, better than the monster she was.

She turned from them, taking a single step back towards Dromach when a soft voice rumbled out from behind her.

"Do you intend to leave without even saying good-bye?"

Nia nearly jumped out of her skin, and had to fight to not shout in surprise. She whipped around and saw Azurda looking back at her, his face serious and understanding all at once. "Knowing Rex, that would only make him more despondent."

Nia didn't even bother wondering how Azurda knew what she'd been planning. "This is what he wants... what he deserves. I'd just hurt him by staying here."

Azurda chuckled lightly, a low rumbling like a distant rock rolling down a hill. "How curious. You're not the first one to say that. But I don't wish to wake them. If you are certain in your path, would you do this old man one last favor?" he asked, lowering his head to invite her onto his back. "Perhaps a small trip a little bit out to the waves will provide some clarity to the turbulent soul."

"Ya, all right," she said, stepping onto his back with an odd thought. "This is the first time I've willingly climbed onta your back, ya know?"

Azurda said nothing as they slowly pulled away from the shore. Once he seemed satisfied they were out of earshot, he spoke. "Nia, I must ask what this is all about? I'm not one to pry, but I'd thought you'd come to terms."

Nia had expected this, but that didn't make it easier to deal with. "I just... didn't wanna be a third wheel, ya know? Rex's made his call, I gotta respect that."

Azurda remained quiet for a moment before speaking. "Is that true? I've known many humans, for many human lifetimes, and I think I know self-loathing when I see it. Just after we landed, you kept your distance. From everyone. You put on the brave face, and Rex has never been the most observant, but I saw that pain." He turned back, looking at her with a piercing gaze. "Running from pain doesn't help it heal. Surely you've learned that?"

"It's not... my pain I'm worried about. I deserve it," she said, meeting his gaze. "Rex deserves better."

Azurda seemed honestly taken aback by her words. "How could you still think that? After all that you've done, none in this world are more deserving of happiness."

Nia turned her back to him, looking out over the waves and drawing her arms close around herself. "Yer wrong, gramps. I'm the monster that everybody always said I was. It'd be better for everybody if I just... vanished."

Azurda's voice was more insistent when he spoke next. Almost demanding. "Nia, tell me what happened."

Nia felt her temper flare up, and she rounded on the kindly guardian and guide. "Fine, ya want to know what's what? The dark truth? We're flying through the sky, the new land in front of us. Everyone staring like looking at a miracle, Rex clutching that crystal in his hand. We all felt it, the despair an' pain, knowing what the victory cost us. Rex most of all. He was trying ta be strong, but I saw it clear as day, how broken he was inside."

Azurda listened quietly as Nia started to shake. "And I said to myself right then, I'd stay and help him. I'd never leave his side, cause he needed somebody. I...I..." she shook her head, rounding on Azurda with tears in her eyes. "I was happy! His love and my best friends had just died for all of us, and I was happy!" She clutched her Core Crystal, throbbing in her chest. "Pyra was my best friend, and when she was gone I was happy because for a moment, I could see a future where Rex might see me... like I've always seen him." She looked up at the Titan, the tears streaming down her cheeks as she tried in vain to wipe them away. "How do I live with myself after that? How do I look them in the eyes and smile knowing that's how I feel?"

Azurda looked down at her with compassion, his voice rumbling softly. "Nia, you would not be the first person who had such thoughts because of love. Jin nearly destroyed the world because of it. But you, you rose above those feelings. You didn't let your love corrupt you, because you realized those feelings were wrong."

Nia laughed darkly against the sob in her throat. "That's...that's why I pushed Rex away. Loving him... being so close to him... I'm afraid I'll do something horrible one day. I need to get away from him to protect them all."

Azurda said nothing for a long while. Finally, Nia's tears dried and her sobs stopped as she looked up at him. "Nia, if this is your plan I will ask only one thing from you before you depart."

"W-what is it?"

* * *

The sun rose far too slowly for Nia. She'd not gone back to sleep after she and Azurda returned, though thankfully Rex and the others hadn't been disturbed by her nighttime escapade. Still, sitting alone with her thoughts, waiting for the sun to rise and the others to wake, was akin to torture. She had her final promise to keep to Gramps, and she knew that it was the right thing to do. It would solve the problem too, once and for all.

Eventually, though the sun did rise and her companions did rouse themselves. Rex was... his usual self, if a bit more clingy of Pyra and Mythra. That would make things... difficult. After a tense breakfast, which Rex seemed delightfully oblivious of, Nia stood up and spoke.

"Pyra, Mythra. You two mind giving me a minute?" she said, trying as hard as she could to hide the apprehension in her voice.

Mythra looked up first, Pyra still chiding Rex for his poor eating manners with a good-natured laugh. "Hm? Sure. Hey Pyra!"

Pyra looked up, slightly embarrassed. "Ah, yes!"

Rex looked up confused at Nia. "Hey, what's all this about?"

Nia pointed down at Rex. "None of your business. Didn't anybody teach ya not to stick yer nose in where it doesn't belong?"

Mythra grinned. "I think we _all_ know the answer to that one."

A quick laugh was shared by the four of them as Nia lead Pyra and Mythra over out of earshot and behind a rather large rock. She'd rather Rex not see this either.

"So, what's up?" Mythra said, taking the initiative. Her eyes... Nia didn't trust them. Mythra was incredibly sharp. Like as not, she already had an idea what this was about. Pyra still seemed pleasant, but after Mythra spoke the tone made her adopt a concerned expression.

Nia took several breaths, her heart slamming against her chest as she considered everything she had to say. Her last promise to Azurda, before she left her friends forever. "I've a confession to make..." she started, and Mythra instantly waved her off.

"What, about being in love with Rex? That's already known."

"Mythra!" Pyra chided.

"No, no. It's all right. It is about that, though..." Nia said, cutting across Pyra. "You see... yesterday when we were escaping..."

And the words simply flowed from that point, crashing before them like a waterfall cascading to the rocks below. She couldn't stop, even if she'd wanted to, as she spoke on all of her dreams, her feelings, the dark thoughts that took her mind in that moment of weakness and her shame in the realization. She spoke of her plan to leave and how she wanted Rex to be happy with those who really deserved him and how she was sorry and, at some point, she wasn't even aware of what she was saying. The emotions had simply overwhelmed her, reducing her to a sobbing wreck.

It was only when she felt Pyra's arms around her that her senses returned to her. She looked up, tear filled eyes blurry, as she managed out a single word.

"W-why?"

"Nia, you're our best friend. We never wanted to make you feel that way, but none of us want you to go."

Mythra crossed her arms coldly. "Besides, you know Rex. He'd never stop until he'd found you anyway. That's just the kind of idiot he is."

Nia, in spite of herself, released a single laugh from the comment. "You... deserve your happiness. I'd just get in the way. R-Rex, he's always had eyes... only for you."

"You're wrong," came the strong rebuke. But these words came from Pyra. "When we were in Torigoth and Brighid captured you, Rex was single minded in rescuing you. It didn't matter how many obstacles there were or how hopeless it looked, he just refused to give up."

"That's just the kind of guy he is," Mythra finished.

Nia shook her head. "That's doesn't mean anything, though. He'd do that for any of us."

Pyra pulled back from the embrace, as Mythra stood right in front of Nia, looking down at her. "So tell me something. What do you think would have been the difference if you'd been in our place on Elysium?"

"Eh?"

"Do you think for a second Rex wouldn't have screamed and cried and been just much of a baby if it was you instead of us?"

Nia didn't answer at first, before finding the words. "T-that's just... the kind of guy he is..."

Mythra smiled at that, a warm smile that Nia had rarely seen from her. "Look, I'll be honest with you. I don't really want you to go, either. I won't stop you, because it's your life, but can you imagine me trying to keep these two idealistic brats from starving?"

Pyra giggled slightly, before looking back to Nia as well. "Won't you speak to Rex before you make your decision?"

Nia took two steps back, looking aghast. "I... I couldn't. If he knew... he'd hate me."

Mythra looked annoyed now, closing the distance to look down at Nia. "Didn't you say that you weren't going to be afraid anymore? That you would be who you were and show all that you were and felt? Were those just words?"

"No... of course not."

"Do you trust Rex?" Pyra asked, from the other side.

"Of course I do!"

Mythra nodded. "Then trust him to understand, like he did before."

Nia slowly nodded, cautiously returning towards their camp. After a few steps, she stopped and released a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. As she did, her Gromotti form faded away as she grew into her true form. If she was going to be honest, then she might as well be 100% honest.

Once she was out of earshot, Pyra spoke. "Do you really think that was a good idea?"

Mythra watched Nia approach Rex and responded simply. "Do you think Rex would have wanted her to leave without a word? You know as well as I do what he wants... what he's searching for."

Pyra rested her hand on her Core Crystal. "Yes, I do. I just don't know if he's capable of finding it."

Mythra shrugged. "I don't know, would you be so opposed to it? Doesn't really bother me."

"No, of course not. But..."

Mythra raised her finger to her lips with a smile, watching as Rex looked up at Nia. "Then let's just watch and wait."

* * *

"Rex," Nia spoke as she approached him, making the young salvager look up from his thoughts. Rex blinked once at seeing her in her blade for now, and then gave her an ear-to-ear smile... that stupid smile he always wore.

"Oy, Nia! What was all that about?"

Nia took a deep breath, sitting down across from Rex. "Rex, I'm leaving."

Rex's expression fell as he looked straight at her. "Nia? What's going on?"

Nia shook her head. "I'm truly grateful that I met you all. I mean every word of that. But, it's like Gramps said. Being an adult means letting things go. It's time for me ta... move on."

"Nia... look, I'm sorry about... that thing... I didn't mean..."

Nia cut him off. "Rex, I love you. Nothing will ever change that. But I won't stand here and resent my best friend because of your choice. You... all of you, mean too much to me for me ta do that."

Nia stood up slowly, and Rex rose quickly after her. "What 'choice'? I said back in the caves, I lov-"

"Don't you dare!" Nia shouted, a stray tear appearing in her eye. "If you say that again, it'll just be a lie. Like plunging your blade into my heart. Please... just let me go."

Rex shook his head defiantly. "Like hell! Rule Three of the Salvager's Code! 'Make a girl cry, that's not going to fly. Make a girl smile, you pass the trial'!"

Nia felt a combination of wanting to laugh, cry and smack him, all at once. He really lived by that code.

"Listen, Nia. I never wanted to hurt you, but I'll never lie to you."

Nia glared at him, looking through him with burning intensity. "Oh? Then say it. Say who it is you love, right here and now. Finally tell the truth and let's put it all to rest."

"That's what you want, eh? Fine!" He took a deep breath and shouted out to the wilderness the words Nia knew he was going to.

" **I LOVE PYRA!"**

Nia sighed, a small smile appearing on her face. It was done, finally. He'd admitted it to himself and finally severed the ties between them. She would be able to leave, with no regrets now. She was glad that Gramps had pressed her to talk to Mythra and Pyra. At least now she finally had some closure. She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she missed Rex taking another breath.

 **"AND I LOVE MYTHRA!"**

She looked up at him now, as he stared straight at her with that look in his eyes. That determination that had fought against insurmountable odds, that had saved the world. When next he spoke, it was softer.

"And I love you, Nia."

And, once again, her mind was a maelstrom of emotion. Her eyes shot open as she felt exactly like she had at the bottom of the shrine.

"I love all of you! My life won't be the same without even one of you!"

Nia shook her head, anger brimming behind her eyes that watered with unbidden tears. "That's not an answer! You can't just refuse to make a choice here, Rex!"

"I have made a choice, Nia!" Rex responded, grabbing her hands in his. "I want you to stay with me. With Mythra and with Pyra! I love all of you, and I couldn't imagine saying good-bye to any of you!"

The tears broke through her defenses as she shook her head. "You daft idiot!"

Rex smiled, a warm smile that Nia had missed terribly. Her gaze met with his as he spoke next. "Nia, I won't choose one over another. I love you all and it would kill me to try and just pick one. So I won't. I choose all of you."

Nia sniffled once. Crying was uncommon for her, but the last day had been rather emotional. "Rex, you're such a greedy child," she said with something resembling a smile.

"Funny, Addam said the same thing to me..." Rex responded with that stupid, happy-go-lucky smile.

A moment passed, Rex still holding on to her hands. "So, Nia? Will you stay with me? With Pyra and Mythra?"

Nia looked straight into Rex's eyes, and knew no other answer could be right. "It's... where I belong," she said with a smile, tears still streaming down her face.

"Great!" Rex said, dropping her hands with his child-like smile. "Let's see if Gramps is up for taking a trip to the other cities now! I want to check on the others!" he said, turning away from Nia before he felt her hand gripping his wrist. She pulled, spinning him around and meeting him quickly with her lips. Rex's eyes shot open wide, but he eventually relaxed into the moment of passion and love.

Mythra, from her perch on the rock they'd been talking behind, arched an eyebrow and released a low whistle at the scene. "Well how about that? She managed to get his first kiss. Jealous?" she questioned down to Pyra.

"I feel like I should be asking that question to you," Pyra responded, eliciting a small blush and unintelligible mumble from Mythra. "But no, I'm not. It's not a race, and she _really_ needed some assurance."

Mythra shrugged. "Whatever you say. You think this is OK?"

Pyra nodded with a smile. "You know that Rex wouldn't be happy if he had to break someone's heart. He found the answer that works only for him, where he makes everyone happy. You used to hate that stubbornness about him."

Mythra chuckled. "So did she, as I recall."

"Pyra! Mythra!" Rex called. "We're going to head to Torigoth to go check on Tora and Poppi! Come on!" he said with a wave.

Pyra waved back with a smile. "That's just the kind of boy he is."


End file.
